God walks into a bar …

I wrote a joke. A joke about God.

And, despite the bad joke opening that is the title of this post, it does not involve God walking into a bar.

The idea for this joke literally just popped into my head. You’ll find that it (obviously) isn’t an accurate account of humanity’s creation, but I think God has a pretty good sense of humor and will allow some creative license.

Without further ado, here’s the joke:

God set up an assembly line to create humankind. As human torsos ran down the line, angels attached legs, feet, arms and hands before attaching blank heads that were then outfitted with ears, eyes, lips, eyebrows, and so on.

Just before the now very human-like assemblages neared the section of the factory where they were to receive their noses, God suddenly had a change of heart. He had chosen everything about everyone; their hair and eye color, the shape of their bodies, the length of their legs. Wasn’t it fair to let people choose one small aspect of their physical appearance?

He pulled everyone off the assembly line and had them gather outside the factory to wait for his announcement. As he looked at the crowd, he noticed the no-nosed individuals murmuring among themselves and gathering into little groups. People put their hands up to their friends’ faces, seemingly trying to determine what kind of nose would look good on their new friend’s face. Best to address that kind of behavior too, God decided.

God let out a loud, sharp whistle and the murmurs stopped. Everyone turned their nose-less faces to God and awaited his word.

“Listen up, everyone,” God said. “I know you’re all eager to get noses on your faces, but I need to lay out some ground rules first: You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”


About Steven Wyble

Steven Wyble is an award-winning journalist who has written for both daily and weekly newspapers throughout Washington state.

Posted on July 15, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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